Where to Begin?

This couch was sent to me by Karen G in Portland, Oregon. It looks really really bad and coupled with the torrential monsoons we've had the last week, I can only imagine how this couch smells. Water-logged a bit?

Karen says, "I found this outside a friend's apt. It's been there for over a week. No one wants it. All the other FREE stuff went fast. One can only imagine its back story due to the condition."

Another friend, Caitlin chimed in and says it's sitting outside of her best friend's apartment complex. Sounds like a lot of people have seen this interesting specimen!

What do you think happened to this couch? Was it involved in a sword fight with a pirate? Did a dog destroy it? Did a sweet little old grandma own it then one day SNAP and turn in to an alien creature who eats couches? Send me what YOU think happened to this couch and the best story wins! You'll win something, but I haven't decided yet.